Why Walk On Water When We Have Boats? (Lottie)

[Derick Lyes]

It was another quiet day in the city, which was very surprising. There was usually something big going on in St. Louis, especially this time of the month. The super bowl had just finished, the winning team making different parades through out their hometown. Sadly this year St. Louis didn't win, so this caused no big parades to reign throughout the city streets. Derick walked along the sidewalk, his hands in his olive colored Hollister jacket. He played with the pack of Marlboros in his left pocket, while in the right his fingers wiggled his red Bic around softly. He was a pyrokinetic, but here in public he had to use a lighter, which he hated.

He walked up slowly to the front door of Babe's Tavern and smiled as he pushed through the small homey looking door, smelling the beer and whiskey drifting up under his nose. He took a big wiff and continued inside, finding a table in the back of the tavern, his usual spot. He smiled as a new young waiter walke dup, giving him a slight smile. She looked very familar, but he paid no attention to that fact.

"What would you like?"

She asked with a smile, pulling out her little note card and a pen to take orders.

"I'll have a beer"

He said with a smile. He was only seventeen, but he knew the owner that worked here. She had worked under his granpa in the later years, and allowed him to drink, just not drive home afterwords. He pulled out his pack of Marboros as he pulled on of the sticks out, pressing it to his lips. He sat the pack neatly ont he table as he pulled out the Bic, sparking the match inside to make the lighter ignite. He held the flame to the cigarette, taking a few quick puffs till it was lit. He stacked the lighter on top of the cardboard pack that held the rest of his cigarettes. He took a few hits, blowing smoke out of his lips as the waitress returned with his beer. He gave a thank you smile and took a sit, hearing the door open as he glanced in its direction.

[Lottie Crittenden]

Lottie never thought that the musings of a whiny pop star bitch could ever be the soundtrack to any moment in her life. Of course, that was before this year, and this year had been a life-changing (or perhaps a better string of adjectives would be "fundamental belief-destroying") year. And fundamental belief-destroying years were not something that she took lightly; they weren't something she enjoyed; and they sure as hell weren't something she was going to let happen in a world where she had utmost control. Because she did have utmost control. Over everything. Control. Because she refused to be the puppet. Control control control. Maybe if she repeated it enough, and believed in it as hard as she could, it would suddenly come to true. That seemed to be the mindset behind most religions as well as most life motivators, so there had to be some kind of validity to it. Of course, all organizations are just practicing some sort of modified groupthink, so it was probably all just a big scam to make people believe that they could actually do something about all the shit in their lives, when they're really stuck down to the bottom of some sort of higher being's shoe like gum. Unwanted and tossed away with the garbage, annoying, but not important enough to be actually harmful. Yeah. That's the way life was.

Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight...

Aw, screw it. Charlotte Danae Crittenden was about to go ape-shit, and she knew it.

Na na na na na na na, we're all gonna get in a fight!

It's not like she was really looking for trouble. No. Mostly she was just looking for an explanation, and she knew that she would find him here. Derick Lyes. Oh, how she loathed to even think that name. That name which shattered everything she thought about herself and her power over her own fate and that of others... He just had to pull the trigger while the gun was still aimed at her god complex. And she knew he would be here. He was so predictable, but that doesn't set him apart from the path. All humans are. She'd gotten that from years and years of observation, and a couple of 911 calls. She wasn't stalking, officer. She was a minor, officer. Those kids, yeah... it's not what... oh screw it. Whatever. If it's not one thing then it's another. The battles that you fight today are the same battles that you fight for the rest of your life, but on a much grander scale with higher stakes, like a glorified poker tournament with more real-world implications than money and loss of it.

So it didn't surprise her at all when she was right on target. There he was, having a nice, calm smoke, sitting in his normal seat with his normal illegal alcohol and his normal easy posture. It made her want to spit venom. Hell, maybe she could if he turned away from his drink long enough. She could easily muster a lethal dosage...

But confrontation was something easier. Something less.. violent. And she had never really been the killing type. At least, she had always previously had a respect for life, a respect for the soul that once seemed to her as pure in principle and tarnished by the environment that humanity has created... Except for his. Derick's was grimy to begin with, and maybe the world could do better with one less of his type.

Her high heels sounded like gunshots as she stomped across the floor, jerked the chair across from him out from under the table violently, and sat down. For a second she didn't say anything. She just stared. And then the words seemed to burst out like bubbles kept too long in the boiling pot.

"What the hell were you thinking? I mean, Jesus Christ! It's not enough that you dumped me for someone else, but then you decided to pick my best friend to be your fuck buddy?" Her best friend, who she wouldn't admit she had some kind of weird feelings for? Her best friend, who was only fourteen, probably only started wearing a bra two or three years ago, and may not even be on her period yet? Wasn't she supposed to protect her from this kind of thing? From his kind of type? She leaned over the table, her fists clenched so hard that her knuckles turned chalk white; the smile on her face was a strange and fragile juxtaposition to the violent tenseness of her body like an arrowstring waiting to snap and let its projectile sink into the breast of an enemy.

"You do realize that anything you did with her could be considered statutory rape and child abuse, right? I hope you've realized that she's not even fifteen. Did you get that, pedophile? Not even fifteen." She was clearly trying to keep herself in, because the waitress was giving her a look reminiscent of a deer in car's headlights who was about to get fatally hit. Her voice lowered to a strained whisper.

"What do you have to say for yourself, huh? Because I want answers, and I want them now. I don't care what you were thinking, or how stoned or drunk or high you were, or how much you thought she was just the cutest little tease you ever saw. I want you to admit that you were wrong so I can kick you in the balls and all three of us can get on with our lives. In fact, I'd rather love it if you went and died in a ditch, slowly and painfully, and had your eyes eaten out by buzzards before you finally kicked the bucket from dehydration. So talk, and you better do it fast, because you know that I'm not the patient type when I'm angry."

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[Derick Lyes]

[/i] She wass the one Derick dated for almost a whole year lst year. They were only 7 months apart in their birthdays, but she was Junior and he was a Sophomore, so she felt like she was "older" when really she wasn't that much. Derick didn't mind though, well not really. She was the kind of girl that would change her mind every few minutes, and it got annoying to him. Thing swould of been fine if he hadn't found out that she was using him for her own gain. He never explained that to her. Maybe that was what she wanted today?

He watched, almost in slow motion, as she stomped up to his table in the back space of the tavern. She had always hated him after they broke up. He didn't have a problem with her at all, but knew that the whole leaving with no explanation ordeal would cause some type of hurtful feeling towards him. He still tried to be nice when he could, but by the smirk expression on her face and the fear and anger in her eyes, it didn't seem like it would be one of those days. Hell if things got out of hand, all he had to do was blink and she would be up in flames. The thought raced through his mind several times before getting shoved aside. Derick was more of a lover, not a fighter.

He listened to her words carefully. He had already found several mistakes in her sentances, making her lack the truth of it all, but he was polite and kept quite until he could speak. When she had finally ended her looked her in the eys, took a hit off his cigarette, then started to speak calmly, rather than wild like she had.

" Number one, she's not my fuck buddy thank you! I didn't even get that far with her cause I realized what I was doing unlike some people who try to use others for their own gain!" His voice went rom calm to angry as he snapped her a glare. He was already pretty disgusted that she was getting involved his little mistake the other night.

"Renee asked me out to the lake the other day. Something had happened to me the night before and she thought it would be great for me to get out of the house. She has always flirted with me and you can get over it sweetie no matter how badly you have a crush on her! She started flirting and I took it for once and one thing led to another and we wound up in our undies in the lake. Now if she's said that I fucked her, then she's fucking lying cause I wouldn't lay a hand on her in that way. When I realized what I was doing I ran away, just like I did with you!" He sighed gently and calmed down slightly. His tone was still angry and assertive.

"Have a seat, let me buy you a drink and explain everything that has happened ok? It's the least I owe you. I will even tell you finally why I left." He gave her a soft kind smile, hoping she would accept.


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[Lottie Crittenden]

Lottie pressed her lips together into a hard line, shut her eyes, and took a deep, calming breath. It rattled her insides, the way that he spoke to her. She didn't want to listen to his explanations. She didn't want to listen to his pleading. So she kind of jumped to conclusions. Renee never told her how far they had actually gotten, but it honestly wouldn't have mattered to her at all whether or not they had had sex. It was the fact he had even accepted her invitation, even touched her, even kissed her. It was like a smack in the face, and it hurt.

But the insinuations that he made stung all the worse, no matter how true they might have been. Like he would know about relationships, about love. All she was trying to do was protect an innocent little girl who was on the wrong path, getting into it with the wrong people, doing the wrong things. She didn't want Renee to make the same kind of mistakes that she had made; after all, she had turned out really great, hadn't she? Jesus Christ, the sarcasm didn't even end in her own mind.

"Listen," she started, her voice noticeably calmer but slightly shaky. Lottie had started to regain some of the control that she usually possessed, but once she had gotten truly furious all of the anger and spite took so much energy to reel in that it was almost physically as well as mentally taxing. She continued: "I don't care how far you got with her and I don't want to listen to your fucking insinuations that I "used you" and that I "love her." She's my best friend and I'm just trying to keep her from getting involved with guys like you and ending up like me. I mean, who broke up with whom here? It's clear here who's the victim and who's the perpetrator here." Her eyes narrowed as he offered to buy her a drink.

"Fine. I'll stay, but only because you're not going to get rid of me with such a weak explanation. And I really don't care all that much about anything else that comes out of your mouth except a promise to stay away from her." She rubbed her eyes tiredly, her shoulder sagging in her chair. The stark difference from the way she slouched against the sharp, upright posture she normally had. The simple motion made it seem as though her body had endured years of hard labor.

She exhaled for what seemed like an eternity. "Vodka. Buy me a vodka, and I'll listen to what you have to say," Lottie murmured reluctantly, refusing to look Derick in the eyes. "And maybe I'll even consider forgiving you, but it's not likely."

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[Derick Lyes]

[/b] Katt's name burned his tongue badly. He never wanted to see her again. "I told her everything about how I "loved her" and wanted to be with her, but she couldn't be with me, and I understood, but when something like that happens you do tend to get a little depressed. Renee talked to me all that morning and asked me to come with her that night to the lake. I agreed and I was so wrapped up in not caring about myself anymore that she got to me for once. She planned on getting me out in the water Lottie, and I did it because for once I felt good. I stopped when she tried to get me to go all the way. I woke up to my senses, told her bye, and left. All I did was kiss her, but even that was silly." He sighed gently.

He was about to move on but was interrupted by the waitress, who laid two shot glasses filled with vodka on the table along with the bottle. He finished off his beer and quickly picked up the shot, downing it gently, then continued as he poured another shot.

"Now the reason I left you was because I was afraid. I'm sorry but I was. Katt really had nothing to do with it I promise you Lottie, she was already dating Tyler then. I had heard things going around about how you were just using me to get to one of my friends. I'm not gonna say who told me, but alot of people did." He took another shot and poured another one before continuing. "You do't have to forgive me, it is my fault I didn't say why i'm leaving. I just want you to know that if it was true then I forgive you completely, everyone makes mistakes. If it's not, then i'm sorry I left for being paranoid. I really cared about you, almost to the point of loving, and frankly....I do still care about you." The last few words dripped off his tongue and he winced, waiting for that smack in the face.[/ul][/size]

[Lottie Crittenden]

Lottie wasn't exactly listening patiently, though she didn't outwardly show it much. She kept her cold hands tight underneath her thighs, though her right foot tapped anxiously against the floor. She didn't understand why she felt like running away when Derick lowered his voice, when he started really talking to her, started trying to earnestly explain what had happened. She could take anger, she could take hatred, and she could even take disloyalty; but she couldn't take his seriously trying to explain himself to her as though he still cared. What an act. She'd suffered enough from his insincerity. As soon as he finished pouring himself his second shot, she grabbed the bottle from the table and took a few long swigs in total disregard of the glass in front of her. She'd feel it soon, but right now she didn't care about her liquor intake.

She looked up. "You know, I wasn't using you to get someone else. I don't know how those rumors started circling around, but they weren't true." She shrugged slowly. "Maybe they were just jealous. Who knows?" She knew that asking for answers was really futile, especially answers pertaining to questions of human nature. She wasn't using him for someone else. Perhaps it could be said that she was using him for herself, for her pleasure... She couldn't say that she had loved him at the time, and now everything was just so conflicting... What he was saying, what she was feeling, whether he was telling the truth or whether he was just trying to bait her again with all his pretty riddles. She sighed.

"Why didn't you even ask me? I mean, did you really not trust me that much? Did I really give off the impression that I would do that? I mean, during the time we were dating I never even looked at any other person. I was totally faithful to you. I just don't get why you didn't even confront me about it, and you just listened to other people as though they were more important, more truthful. And god forbid you care about my feelings throughout the whole thing." Before letting herself get angry again, she took a long, rattling breath, loosened her body, and unclenched her fists.

"Unfortunately, the problem with me is that I am an admitted paranoid who has seen enough of the bad side of people to expect the worst all the time, every time. I don't think you realize how much I hated you. I really hated you." She laughed weakly... the laugh was devoid of any characteristic mirth. "And I'm still doubting your sincerity." She fingered her empty shot glass.

"Besides, you have a history. A pattern of types. You get involved with wonderful words, wonderful pledges, and perhaps wonderful intentions, but then you just jump out and run away without any kind of an explanation once things get serious. I don't know why I should trust a single word you're saying about how you felt about me."

[Derick Lyes]

[/b] He sighed gently before starting again. "I am sorry for leaving you Lottie, it's true."


He chuckled along with her, trying to ease the tentsion between them. He took the bottle from her and took a few swings from it as well, then handed it back to her with a soft smiled. That smile soon faded as he began to speak once more. "Lottie, I made a mistake. I was being a little boy chasing his stupid little dream that turned out not to exist. You should trust me, like you use to. I mean everything that I have said. If you don't believe me, then you can hang me later, I promise!" He chuckled again gently."I still care....." His voice trialed off into silence as he held out his hand for her. He looked down as he waited for her response.[/ul][/size]

[Lottie Crittenden]

"Cheated on that guy? That's your basis for a pattern?" She rubbed her eyes more furiously, until she saw angry red spots through her lids, and then stopped abruptly. "That was an open relationship. But I guess you just can't grasp that concept," she muttered through a bit lip, but didn't pursue the argument. It was just one more thing to get into, and she was already pushing it. His temper was one thing she didn't want to test right now... Not as though she couldn't hold her own, of course.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. What is it that you're supposed to do now, huh? She stared at the hand stretched across the table, the words that still hung in the air between them. She didn't want to breathe in... the risk of inhaling those words, that poison, was too great. Lottie didn't want to get intoxicated by his promises again. But if she was wrong... then what was she missing out on?

Lottie feared indecision more than almost anything else. It tore her apart from the inside out in all directions. It destroyed her sense of self, of identity, of being. Christ, what was the point anymore? Happiness was just an ethereal, intangible illusion. She held her breath until her lungs burned.

"Fine. I'll hold you to that promise," she responded slowly, with measured emotion and measured tone. "I think..." she broke off for a second. "I think you're telling the truth." It was harder to admit than she would have ever thought, but she pressed on. "I think you're telling the truth, and I believe your story. But that doesn't mean I'm going to just forget everything--just drop everything and embrace you and everything you say wholeheartedly." And all the while she kept chewing her lip until she finally broke the skin, and the rusty taste of blood washed over her tongue. She grabbed the bottle of vodka in disgust and drowned the taste out of her mouth with a few large gulps, ignoring the burn in the back of her throat.

His hand was still on the table. Her fingers twitched slightly towards him, but she curled them into a tight ball. Her eyes almost closed, she grabbed the bottle from her left and pressed it into his palm instead.

"You're asking too much of me right now," she murmured quickly and quietly. A pause of heavy silence. Another sigh. Lottie reached across the table, and, with delicate touch, raised his chin so that he looked her in the eyes. The sensation of his warmth on her cold hands sent invisible shivers down her spine. "Don't ask too much." It was almost a plea, but for what she couldn't say. She honestly didn't know why she was feeling this way, this desperation and nausea and nervousness all wrapped in one package and settled in the pit of her stomach, and previously she thought she knew the way through the maze of her psyche.

Well hell. It was a fundamental-belief-shattering day, wasn't it?

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[Derick Lyes]

[/b] His voice grew as his temper flared, his eyes growing a cold dark gray. His hand began to get hot, glowing a soft red as he clenched it tightly in a fist. He tried to calm down, but the sight of her now disgusted him. He kept his gaze down as his other hand layed on the table still.

He knew she wouldn't go for his hand. Frankly, he was rather glad. It was bad enough that he was getting rejected again, but this time he had opened up his feelings to someone he actually cared about, not some petty little love crush. He let out a sigh. Should he really be doing this? Should he actually be placing his heart back into her hands? Maybe things would be different? Maybe for once he could actually stay calm in this kind of situation. His temper disapperead as the vodka bottle was placed in his
hands.

He took it and took a few big gulps. the burning in the back of his throat more like a cooling sensation. He sat the bottle back down on the table. That was when his chin was lifted up as his eyes fell on hers. Her toxic green eyes, he hated the way the peered into his soul, but at the same time yerned for the attention. He was sick of feeling this way around her, this nauseated, fever driven lovespell that struck him instantly each time they touched. He gave her a slight nod, and that was all he could say. He pulled out some money from his wallet as he sat it down on the table, grabbing the bottle as he got up. He started to head towards the door, sipping gently on the bottle.[/ul][/size]

[Lottie Crittenden]

As she stared into the empty space where his body had once been, it only took a split-second to decide.

"Derick, wait." She realized it was the first time she addressed him directly for a long time. His blue eyes burned into her vision as she got up and went after him, her heels clicking on the floor. She caught the door has he exited and hobbled out, noticeably unsteady from the alcohol. She hesitated, ran a hand through her short dark hair, and when she spoke the words overflowed quickly on top of each other.

"Derick, I do still care about you, okay? But after all this shit that's happening I honestly don't know if it's better just to pretend all this never happened or whether I should jump in headfirst all over again. You know I have a huge problem with commitment and I don't want to get involved if I can't help it and I'm really, really drunk and there's absolutely no way I can drive back to campus on a motorcycle without horribly injuring myself and a couple of pedestrians, somehow causing a plague of locusts in the process because that's just how bad of a driver I am and I need help, with everything that's going on in my brain! Dammit!" she exclaimed on the end of it as she slipped on some gravel and cut her heel on the brick. "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!" She tore off her shoes and threw them to the ground angrily.

"You know what, I don't even care anymore! I've already hurt everybody enough so there's no reason to stop the trend now. Trends in nature are laws, and laws are definite. They're axiomatic. They don't change; at least not without huge resistance. You won't change and I won't change. So it's irreconcilable. No hope. None." She swiped her hand across the air in finality. "So now I won't regret things left unsaid. I've acknowledged the elephant in the room, and now I'm going to leave." Her words ran into each other in the haste to get out of her mouth. Christ, she was going crazy. What, did he somehow suck out her sanity with every breath? Man... She didn't even bother picking up her shoes as she swaggered to her motorcycle... and she kept muttering something under her breath repeatedly that looked suspiciously like "amen."

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[Derick Lyes]

[/b] He sighed gently as he spoke. He bit his lip as he waited for her response. He wasn't lying about the ride, he really did need one. It was bad enough that he was staggering back to his own car with a vodka bottle in his hand, but worse if he had got in and killed someone. Derick did have a low tolerance for drunk drivers, and wouldn't let himself become another statistic tonight.[/ul][/size]

[Lottie Crittenden]

Jesus Christ. Did he have to look at her like that, so vulnerable, so pitiful and resigned? She drummed her fingers on the leather seat, hesitated for a moment, and then turned around sharply so she didn't have to see him anymore.

"Oh. Oh. You need a ride, huh? Well fine. Just don't hold on too tight, cowboy, okay? You better be glad I can hold my liquor better than you." She paused and shrugged as she grabbed her shoes off of the gravel. She wasn't going ride her bike without any protection on her feat from the heat of the engine. Her brow furrowed as she fished for her keys.

"Whatever. I guess I've had a lot of practice," she laughed coldly and, finally finding the keys in some remote pocket of her cargo pants, quickly unlocked carrying case hinged to the back of her motorcycle. First she grabbed her helmet and slammed it onto her head unceremoniously; then she withdrew a second helmet she kept on the occasion that one of her girlfriends would ever need a ride, and shoved the bright pink object into Derick's chest.

"There you go. You should always use protection, huh?" She waited for a second, then slung her leg over the saddle and stuck her keys in the ignition. "Put it on and get on." The faster she got this over with, the better. She didn't want Derick holding on to her for any longer than he absolutely had to.

Okay... so maybe that wasn't exactly the case, but it was what she recognized as the truth in her own mind. And she was allowed to fake reality and try to convince herself of its authenticity whenever she felt like it. Didn't mean it always worked, but it was a good enough try every time.

The engine revved loudly and coughed out a plume of exhaust before settling into its groove and waiting in a sharp, impatient idle that mimicked Lottie's own feelings--the ones she would recognize, that is.

"Just remember," she started as she adjusted some hair underneath her helmet, "I don't make any promises when I'm driving. I was serious about the plague of locusts. But I'll try not to kill you because a motorcycle-related death is probably not painful enough for what I would wish on you, okay?" For the first time since she'd seen Derick she smiled--for real, that is--though it couldn't be said that the way her cheeks stretched and curled her lips was exactly the kind of smile that most people felt comfortable with. But for the moment, it was close enough.

"Now get on before I leave your drunk ass on the pavement and the liquor starts to hit me too."

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[Derick Lyes]

[/i]? Was it worth it to risk your life again with this gal? He sighed as she handed him the pink helmet. He could careless at this point, he just wated to get this ride over with and as fast as possible in that order.

He slipped on the pink helmet, pulling the black visor down over his eyes so she couldn't see teh cold gray color they were giving off at that point. He gave a smart-ass chuckle as he got on the bike. "I thought you forgave me?" he said as he wrapped his arms around her, his body fitting snuggly against hers. He saw her smile an actual smile. It had been atleast a year since she had smiled at anyone. It was rather ironic that she smiled at him. He rose the visor for a split second, letting her see his kind, charming smile, before he let it fall over his face again.

"Lets go.." His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, his heart beat slowing gently as he tried to remain awake, but that wasn't working out to good for him at this point.[/ul][/size]

[Lottie Crittenden]

Lottie did her best to ignore the invisible electric spark that shot through her body and sent shivers down her spine as Derick held onto her; her fingers clenched involuntarily, revving the engine loudly and unnecessarily. She took a breath, loosened her fingers on the gas, and turned around just in time to see Derick smile at her. Of course had had to flash those pearly whites. As if she didn't have enough of a problem trying to be as angry and spiteful towards him as possible.

"I didn't promise forgiveness, kiddo," she muttered under her breath before closing the visor in front of her eyes with a loud snap. "And you better not fall asleep," she yelled over the roar of the engine. "I take my turns pretty sharp, and I'm not going to go back if you happen to take an unlucky fall!"

Probably before Derick even had time to think about her command (and perhaps too early for even her mind to register what she was doing), she pulled the throttle hard and peeled out of the parking lot wildly, the vodka fueling the hot flame burning in her chest. The engine screamed across the pavement with the desperate sound of a man being incinerated alive, and Lottie clutched on to the machine with her entire body, like a skilled jockey on a racing horse. This was hers. This was her place, her time. And there was nothing that Derick could say or do to change this feeling--the mixture of fear and exhilaration and stupidity that all combined into one seamless euphoria.

It didn't take long to flash by yellow lights, faster than the angry car horns that couldn't pursue them, faster than the people walking leisurely on the sidewalks, and the gates of Sententia approached fast. Lottie clenched her fingers tightly and suddenly on the brakes, bracing herself for the momentum that threatened to hurl her body over the handlebars, and laughed as the bike slowly crawled through the gates onto the school's campus.

"We're heeeere."

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((sorry it's been taking so long--I've been in the OR the past couple of days and studying hasn't left me too much time for RPing))