Out and Proud

[Grace Heart]

Alright I'm sure it's obvious to you guys that I'm not straight lol. Well, I'm not sure anymore if I'm bi or if I'm more than that...You know like, I don't think there's just boys and girls. Like drag queens and stuff, I feel like there's more than two genders. I believe that's Polysexual but IDK.

Anyway, so today at school we started talking about LDRSHIP (it's an ROTC thing). It's an acronym and each letter stands for something. L-loyalty, etc. Anyway, so we get to R, which is respect. And some girl starts talking about girls who make out all over the place and stuff, and you know I'm kinda like okay, yeah, okay. But then she says when they get called nasty names, they got it coming to them. Now I kinda let that slide. But then she said "Just like those homos got it coming when people beat em and stuff." And that ticked me off. I yelled (from across the room).

Now I got so angry, I can't tell you guys what was said, I really don't remember because of the emotion I was feeling. But I do know she was pushing me closer to the edge, and you guys know how I've been lately. Well everyone in the class is egging us on, and we're yelling back and forth, and I'm trying to keep cool but I'm just so mad at her, and then she said something else, and I still don't remember what it was, but whatever it was, it hurt me more than anything else she had said. But I ended it. I left the room in tears and when I came back, I wouldn't talk or look at anyone and I put my books away and just spent the rest of the class (ten minutes) with my head down. After class, the Sgt. stops me as I'm leaving and we start talking about everything in my life, especially the abuse I'm getting for being out and proud.

Now let me fill you in on the final bits before I tell you what he said. At our school, some stuff happened between a gay kid and a straight kid and a big argument turned into a fight. And at our school, it's splitting down the middle. Gay/lez/everything else vs straights. I don't understand why they're all judging each other on what they like and not what they feel, or think. They're all alike, they just can't see it. So I won't take sides. So all of this hate is just piling on and I hate that.

Now, I remember exactly what the teacher told me cuz I'd calmed down by then. He said, and I quote: "You have the respect of a lot of your classmates. You don't need to be so upset over what someone says. I see you're really passionate about it, and that's good. Now on Monday, pay attention to the other students and how they look at you. I guarantee you, they respect you because you're out and proud. Hang in there ________"(he said my last name there).


It was a wild and emotional day, especially the last class, but I think I got through okay.

Now I wanted to ask you guys, are you okay with homosexuality? Why or why not? I like to debate about it, I really do. So let's talk.

[Aimee Hathaway]

Hmm...well, I'm not agaisnt it, but I wouldn't go around telling everyone it's okay and everything is perfectly fine. I would never say anything like what that girl said to you and I'm not going to tell someone not to do what they feel, because I think everyone should express themselves and should be able to do what they want. The reason why I would say I wouldn't go around saying gay is okay or stuff like that is cause of what the bible says and everything. That's also something I'm confused on with my religion is the fact that god says it's not natural to love someone of the other sex, but he also says he will love all of his children no matter what. It's very confusing to people, but I think god wants people to be happy and do what they feel is right. So, I guess I'm saying that I'm okay with you being gay or anyone else being gay and I would stand up for you if someone was talking trash about your choice of being gay and tell them to go shove it, but I'm proud of you ending it and leaving, because I've learned that violence solves nothing. I'm sad to say that I just have a thing about when people talk trash about others I tend to want to fight them on it or something like that. Though, I really shouldn't and I wouldn't want anyone else too. Well, I'm just gonna tie this up and say that I'm okay with it, but don't volunteer me for going to a rally for it or something cause I'm still ify on it with my religion, cause I'm the kind of person who doesn't think I should go do something like that if my whole heart and mind isn't fully on that side. I am luckily figuring out where I stand on this subject especially with my religion and all, but I'm still here if ya need me Gracie and everything and I would stand up for you which is now making me think that I'm on the gay side, just a little confused. I'm wierd I guess. lol.

[Grace Heart]

Well, maybe I accept my sexuality better because I don't believe in God or any religons. Religon seems to play a big part in people coming out and accepting the lifestyle. But it's okay I just don't know why I can't be seen as a human just because I date girls and boys. I love everyone equally, and I get nothing back. That's so odd to me.

[Aimee Hathaway]

Life plays out so differently and seems giving out a certain amount you should get the same amount in return, but life sucks. That doesn't mean you need to go out and kill yourself, but it just doesn't always work out. I'm glad that you are able to figure out where you stand cause it will help you later on in your life and I'm glad that you're okay with my whole wierdness thing, but I see you as a human. You are a human and sure your different then others, but your still a human with emotions and feelings and should be treated the same as everyone else. It just takes others a longer time to realize this.

[Grace Heart]

I know. But I hate that I just have to keep waiting. I don't see straight people begging to be accepted, or crying because they're not. But some straight people are very nice to us. They support us and even give us places to stay when our parents kick us out. But still...The majority of people won't accept us and waiting for that is like trying to find the lost city of Atlantis- In the Sahara Desert. It feels totally hopeless.

[Aimee Hathaway]

All great changes will feel hopeless at first. Rome wasn't built in a day and yeah the people building it were like 'what the hell are we doing?!?! when will this brutal work and tiring days end?!' but they kept on working. Eventually, the greatest city to ever live was born. Changes as big as these will also take time, but if everyone keeps their heads up and keeps standing for what they believe in it'll blow over. People will find something else wrong with society and pick on that and will just accept gay as normal. That sounds horrible and you probably wouldn't want to be accepted that way, but it is how most things are accepted and if not people will just give up and accept you guys because they just got sick of fighting you guys over who is right and whos wrong. It's just good that there are people out there that are willing to already work through it and help out you all when you need it.

[Grace Heart]

Yea. I know. Believe me, I know. I know more than you think. For someone of my age, I think an awful lot and sometimes I overthink. I've thought about everything, about why people treat us the way they do, and how long it'll take to be accepted. I know. But as I've already told you, I hate the waiting. I argue, I stand up, I fight for this cause. I try to push the change forward.

[Tristan Alexander]

I don't understand....so is the point of this thread just to find out where people stand on this issue? Or are you going to find out where they stand, maybe educate a few people on what it means to be bi...? I just don't know where this is going lol. Or did you just need to vent?

And as far as being different, who says she's "different"? Based on what standards? No two people are the same so of course everyone's different, I hope you meant it in that sense. But if you just meant based on her sexuality, then I would say you're saying "straight" is the norm, and I really don't know who declared straight the norm, the okay, and the only way to be.As though "straight is default" or something. We're not robots, we're people....so I don't like the term "different" used to describe a human being based on their sexuality. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're all for homosexuals even if it's in your own way, but I just don't like the word "different" like straight is normal and homo is different. I don't know who decided that.

As far as the bible goes, I never understand that reference when used in conversations about homosexuality. People who believe in the Bible, let's say, believe in God, right? But if you really get down to the fundamentals, ignore whatever the Bible says for a minute, if you believe in a God, did God not create the world, and all the people, plants, and creatures in it? And if God created people, created everyone in their own unique way, and yet in God's likeness, and furthermore if there are so many homosexual people, I don't understand how anyone can consider homosexuality a sin. God created us all didn't he? What if God MEANT to create homosexuals, what if there isn't just 1 way to be? Then who cares what the Bible says, shouldn't God's judgment be absolute? I'm just saying, I'm not saying I'm God or I understand God but if God is painted as such a being that loves everyone of his creations, then doesn't God love homosexuals just as much as heterosexuals? If God loves everyone then how is homosexuality a sin, if you take it out of the context of the Bible for a minute and just view it in the context of one God who loves all? Isn't that the idea of the Christian God anyway?

[Grace Heart]

....Tristan, you rock. You thought of things I hadn't even realized and I'm an overthinker. But I did think about the whole God part, and that's why I stopped believing. If he created us, and he loves us, then how are we wrong for being...well, not different, as you don't like the term, but...GLBTQ?

And the purpose of this thread was originally to just vent, then I wanted opinions and debate, and now I guess it's just open discussion.

[Aimee Hathaway]

I didn't mean the word different in a bad way at all. I did mean it in her just being different in how like everyone is different in their own way, and no one should be judged just cause their not someone elses definition of normal cause apparently nomal's definition is how society sees the way someone should be, but I don't really think there is a certain way society should be, there is no set way. There isn't a hand book and everyone thinks differently so why should someone be singled out for being different in a way then another? They shouldn't. That's what I was trying to say, but sometimes I say stuff that just come out wrong or something like that.


As far as religion that's what I thought about the whole god thing cause I thought that god did create us in his image and how he is and if so many people think that way then why is it bad? The bible does say it is wrong and that we should only love a man and a woman, but to what extent should we take this and does gods word differ? I guess we'll never really know and we just should all do what we think is right. Just be how we are, we'll found out whos right and whos wrong about in the end after all. I'm just confused cause of what the bible says and were supposed to follow it cause it's gods word, but at the same time it just seems wrong almost. Confusing. I just need to think about it all I guess, I'm just wierd. lol

[Grace Heart]

Religon can get in the way, that's all I really think about with it. But really, this discussion is about more than that. Everyone's first defense is God or religon of any kind really, but what about the rest? Is it only religon that prevents the acceptance? Kids don't see homosexual couples on tv, or lesbians. Unless you count The L Word. And even if Gay and Lesbian is accepted, Bisexual still isn't because a lot of people I know think that Bisexuality is just confusion or an excuse for fooling around.

[Tristan Alexander]

I'm not bashing religion at all, just bringing up the points stated in it, from my understanding. I don't bash religion, I say people should do what's right for them and that includes religion. If it helps some get by, it helps some get by. Who am I to judge? I don't even touch those who are super-extreme religious who believe God made things black and white, for to pass judgment on them is to do exactly to them what they do to GLBTQ. No one way is right, no one way is wrong, it just is. (I'm not saying you're one of those people Aimee, I just don't want anyone to religion bash if anyone else replies to this thread. I don't believe in religion bashing, only bringing up points for discussion).

I'm not atheist, but I'm not bound by structured religion either.

And don't worry about it Aimee, my post was not meant to attack anyone, it was just to get people to think, I wasn't trying to single you out or anything. You're not weird, and if you are, weird is cool. Norm is overrated.

I'd say my experience in this realm is what made my post sound so good I guess, but I don't feel like coming out here. If that's all this was, then I guess the thread is done...we'll see if anyone else replies. I'm not here to bash, just educate and get people to think. I'm very queer sensitive, as one of my friends put it.

[Kayleigh Santiago]

Gracie, I have known you for a while and you are a very close friend of mine. We even dated for a time. I'm glad you're so passionate about being bisexual. If there's one thing I've learned over my fifteen years here so far, it's that no matter what sexuality you are, no matter what religion you are, even what you look like, you will get treated differently.
"If you're not white then you don't factor into the black & white picture of how life is supposed to be. If you're not straight you don't factor into the black and white dream. If you're not a Christian you just simply don't factor into it." That is what I grew up hearing. Not from my family, no, but from neighbors, from friends. Having African-American inside of me and being bisexual and not believing in any God has gotten me picked on, verbally abused, and physically abused. It's not pretty that people just can't accept us for us, and I still haven't gotten used to it, but it's something I learned to live with, because it's something that probably won't change for quite a while.

I go to a very racist school. There are many African-Americans and Puerto Ricans and Caucasians and any other race you can possibly think of. There are also many gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. We all get picked on by the white kids. Why? Because we don't fit into their religion. We don't fit into what their parents taught them since birth. We don't fit into their game board because we all have different pegs. My school is very much split down the middle, has been for a while, and sadly, I don't think it's going to change because people are so ignorant that they can't just accept people for who they are and not who they want them to be. Not everyone is perfect, and yet they think that they are.

There is no way anyone can make them see that being lesbian or gay or whatever is someone else's choice, not theirs nor their religion. By looking at someone, can you tell their religion? No. So, say someone believed in an entirely different religion than another, and they had different beliefs. In one, being gay is bad. In the other, being gay is good. Will they get into a fight over it? Of course. But no matter what, one cannot and will not get the other to believe in what they think is right, because they have their own beliefs and should just leave it at that.

Every religion in this world has one thing in common - every religion comes from one original religion. What the religion is, I can't say. Fights over religion are completely arrogant to me. I am not one to religion bash, I just don't believe in one. I don't want to offend anyone, but what I believe in is science, not religion.

Grace, my advice to you is, that if something like that happens again and your emotions flare up, try your best to keep a level head, keep your cool and keep a calm tone. You know I'm not one to just shut the hell up about anything, I've always got something to say about something, but I've learned that if you keep your anger in check and your tone calm enough, people will respect you way more than you think, because for you to keep your head in situation like that? They will respect you about yelling at that girl, yes, and even more so if next time you keep calmer than you did. I'm not saying you'll be perfect at doing that, but it does help very, very much in earning other peoples' respect for you and other GLBTQ people.

To me, what other people think is irrational. I know who I am and where I stand in this world. If people don't like it, fine, screw 'em. I honestly don't give a damn what people think, but I guess that's just me. I'm happy in my own body and what I believe in. I've earned respect by just being me and being comfortable in my own skin. Bisexuality is a huge part of who I am and I embrace it. Like I said, if people don't like, well then that's oh well. It's my choice, and I made it at a rather young age. I'm not going to change for any religion or belief unless it is my own. Now I will stop my rambling because I typed a lot and now my fingers hurt(:

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[Connor Reid]

<3 Standing up for yourself and for others is nothing to be ashamed of, even if in context it is a bit difficult to do, especially considering the location. I'm a gay guy, and in high school, for the first six months of being out, I got pretty desensitized to every bashy-sort-of-thing said to me. Not the appropriate reaction, but it kept me from flipping out on people ( though I did that too, admittedly ).

As it stands, I found out - much like you did - a lot more people had my back than not. Everyone garners some form of respect, either through positive or negative actions, and while the concept of pos / neg defined respect inherently breeds opposition... your sergeant was right. People will look up to you for standing up for those who cannot, or are afraid to, stand up for themselves.

As per religion, I refuse to enter in to that debate, 'cause it's not my place any more. I try to avoid religious conversations because I get too swept up in them.

All I'm saying is... well... hell. I don't know. Hopefully my words aren't too convoluted to have meaning.

[Grace Heart]

You lost me at "Everyone garners some form of respect". I didn't understand all the big words after that lol.

I guess this thread is just a way for me to find and raise support or just talk about the whole thing because everyone has an opinion on it.

And Sketty Teddy (Kayleigh), you still totally rock my world. You amaze me with what you can say and think. I get so used to you just being silly that I forget how intelligent you are. Sorry. Love you! Forgive me? lol